Crazy Joe's Insane Theories and Whacked out Ideas

[Aluez]

^you_people^are_nuts!

To even suggest we are from the future is out of the question! It's a simple matter of Dual Earths! *cackles* Or... it could be... we are from another Dimension! *lightning crack*

You see, when in Phase Jump, we temporarily leave the plain of reality, of course, if we were damaged by something, we could easily be thrown off course... or more than likely, into another dimension (see Harigosa disaster of 780 A.U., where a battleship was destroyed mid-jump, the wreck except for a few escape pods, was never recovered).

Or as Tinis says, we could indeed be from another time... after all, the TARDIS effect has happened before in the species wars when Chronokinesis and Chrono Telekinesis both (or either-or), go awry.

But as far as the theories stand, we currently have the dual-earth theory as the only standing theory of why we have no presence on THIS earth, or any nearby colonies.

[aatuylva]

OH GOD NO THEY ARE COLONIZING THE PLANET!!!

The wraiths have escaped and all is doomed!
Don't you think it's odd that they picked the ones with WHITE FUR to go over to the (soon to be partially irradiated wastelands of an Anean) colony?
They'd blend in with the dust! What kind of tomfoolery is this? They are colonizing the globe! THEY INTEND TO TAKE OVER DA WORLD.

SOMEBODY MUST do SOMETHING.

In other news:

Sporks. And why they are a danger to civilization as we KNOW IT.

Tune in at eleven!





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This thread needs more cowbell.

[aatuylva]

We need to compare facial structures and DNA here people.

Because I think we've got a problem.

A big one.

You see. IX, Stidham? They rise to power, not really knowing what they're doing, but being very GOOD at power-wrangling amongst certain types of people.....

They have visited this planet, they have been here before.

I am, of course, speaking of Michael Stidham and 'General IX', aka, Gregori Rasputin and James Riddle "Jimmy" Hoffa.

Come on! Look at it!

Rasputin - harems, rose to position of power, was hated but needed, cult of personality, assassination attempts...
Stidham? Same thing minus the beard. I dare say that all he did was shave the beard and put on spectacles after watching an episode of Superman.

Hoffa? Bribes, corruption, killing Kennedy...
IX? Bribes, corruption, and he burnt down the organization that tried to call him on it.

COINCIDENCE?!!


I THINK NOT GOOD SIR.

The problem is that if the Mafia and all these types couldn't kill them, how can we?!?!

[drlhyper]

Do you know why was Kennedy killed.

Simple. He used HACKS to make his way out of recession. Even through there was not any recession, AND, he needed to invade Vietnam to cover his hacks-tracks.

Then, one day, in all the public, sombody killed him.

Many think it was a Soviet spy. Many think it was a former Nazi.

But I think... It was...

HAAAAAAAAAX!!!

And a very high-speed computer monitor - camouflaged as a bullet, went through the US President's head.

[aatuylva]

THE TEERIE ARE ANCIENT ALIEN BIO-ANDROID SUPER-SOLDIERS SENT HERE TO COMBAT WRAITHWOLVES AND VENRI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who are, of course, the agents of Sifus and an as of yet unknown alien superpower.

AN ANCIENT WAR OF TIME AND SPACE.

Glorvan!

THE VENRI WORK FOR HIM.

Well, they did.

Once.

Now that Sifus has a foothold, by altering reality, and with Glorvan 'waking up', will the progenitor of the Teerie show up?

WHO KNOWS.


I think it's Elvis.




ELVIS IS TEERIE.


No one noticed because humans are kinda slow.


In all seriousness, ancient civilization, aptitude for technology, surviving environments, I'm thinking it's a viral-nanotech combination supersoldier project gone wrong that someone dumped on this planet.

[aatuylva]

Alternatively.

Teerie.

The race.

That became.

PUDRIANS.

Because after omnomming all those humies in Andromeda, they wouldn't look green anymore now would they?


Of course, any original Pudrians would be like, uber.