Stop that Doom-cannon!!!

[The Most Holy Sandwich]

Fort Munster
It was an ordinary and rather boring day in the military offices of Fort Munster. Colonel Abram Hauptman-kleinthomas was sitting at his desk enjoying his lunch, which consisted odff a small bowl of coleslaw and a ruben. While eating, the Colonel was going over the ubiquitous reports and summeries are common to any military installation and comtemplating his plans for the weekend.
The peace of his lunch hour was abruptly shattered when an aide, a young, and rather flustered looking Kersol lieutenant by the name of Talak entered his office unnanounced. Talak had been stationed at fort Munster for the last year and a half, and had proven himself to be quite reliable and very much a stickler for proper protocal, which meant that his unscheduled appearance and lack dishevaled look were indicators that something important, quite likely unpleasent, was in the offing.

Talak wasted no time with formalities, he snapped off a quick salute, and bgan speaking abruptly. "Sir, Begging the Colonel's forgivenes, sir, I've just come form warehouse ten. One of our Class 8 Doom-cannons is missing."

New Brunchia
Less than a half hour after the abrupt cancelation of the Captain Hauptman-kleinthomas' weekend plans, tan Inquisitorial investigation was underway and Empire's top military and diplomatic officials had prepared a dispatch concerning the doom cannon.

Initial results of the investigation revealed, after some rather vigorous question on the part of an Inquisitor, taht two technicians had been paid to secure a weapon by a foreigner party. They techs had selected a Mark I Class 8 Dooncannon for ease of transport, and had snuck it out of the base by switching the packing labels with a defective Mark I that was scheduled to be sent out for decommissoning. They then Switched the labels again with that of a shippmentr of novelty goods, and turned it over to their employers, who made for teh border.


...


To all nations of the Federation stop.
We regret to inform you that one of our doom cannons has been misplaced stop
It is currently believed to be in a black shipping container marked as "novelty goods" stop
It is imperative that this container be found and either returned or destroyed stop
End message

[The Union of Tinis]

"So any updates on the doom cannon?" asked Izixs over the phone.

"Afraid not First Speaker," replied Ento, the intelligence liason to the chamber of speakers. "We're still trying to confirm that indeed there is one missing and this isn't some sort of misinformation operation. But assuming one is missing, the most likely exit routes are through the forests in Nogitsune, the road to Attake, or the old Yarf highway through The Yiffy."

"After The Yiffy, that goes right into the Prismwind dead zone before it reaches anything else."

"True," replied Ento. "So unless they plan on stashing it in the desert or changing routes in The Yiffy, its unlikely that route is the most optimal."

"Thank you, any other details I should be aware of?" asked Izixs.

"Well we're a little concered that perhaps our exact specifications of what a class 8 is..."

[Killer Zoids]

"Hows it look?" Asked one technician to his supervisor who quickly reads over the message that's been typed on the screen of the computer.
"Looks good. Broadcast it," said the supervisor.

The technician pushes a button to one side of the screen and then adjusts a knob.

"Chhhhhh... bo de booo beep..

This is an automated message being broadcast to all ship yards on Kazian seas..." A message came across the radio in a computer generated voice.

"All incoming vessels and port handlers report any container matching the following specifications...
1. Black in color.
2. Marked as 'novelty goods.'
3. Incomplete/missing/messy manifest, MSDS sheet, or shipping papers.

It is imperative the container is not opened. It is believed to contain hazardous materials.

If you find any such container, please return to port immediately and inform the harbor master. This message originated 12:32am Kazian standard time at the Central Commerce Office. It was last updated at 12:34am Kazian standard time. 45Q DASH 11BH bo de booo beep...."

[The Most Holy Sandwich]

Deep beneath the Surface of new Brunchia lay the Grand War room of the Imperial Armed forces.
The august assemblage therein included the heads of each of the branches of the Imperial military, the Head of the Inquisition, and the Ecclesiarch himself. They sat around a massive discussion well, and aides scurried back and forth carrying missives and reports, and tending to the arcane and eccentric machinery which filled the remainder of the room. Technicians worked hurriedly, attempting to interface teh esoteric technologies of the empire with those of their neighbors in order that this meeting might attended by diplomats and military specialists from other nations within the federation.

----------

Standing at the center of the well was General LFitzgerald-Vanderbean, chief of Military Research and Interior Decoration. Above him hovered a Hologram of the box in question.

"I'll be quite frank with you all, and cut the formal nonsense. I've had my boys running through every mainframe checking to find our missing weapon. As you all know, we classify a Doom cannon as any weapon capable of destruction on a massive scale, and divide those weapons up based o the level of damage produced. The highest rating is a class 1, which includes anything capable of creating extinction level events. The lowest, Class 8, creates fairly localized damage. At this juncture, The Empire has three Class 1 Doom Cannons, all of which are currently decommissioned."

"The Doomcannon that was stolen was part of something called Project Giant killer." As the General spoke, the hologram shifted from view of the cargo container to that of a something which looked vaguely lake a large purple flare gun. "Giant killer Was originally intended as part of a terraforming initiative called Project Beanstalk, which was aimed at reclaiming some of the Irradiated regions within the Federation. Some of the Scientists and Geneticists involved got drunk and on a dare decided to try weaponizing Beanstalk. The result of this was Giant killer."

The hologram shifted again, to show the image of something which looked vaguely like a Lima bean. A second Hologram flared to life displaying footage of a man in a rad suit holding a purple flare gun.

The general continued, "Giant killer is a plant, Gentlemen, but not a n ordinary plant. When exposed to radiation it's growth rate increases dramatically, so much so that it can go from a single bean to the a block crushing leviathan in seconds."

The pop of a flare gun echoes through the chamber. In the hologram, hundreds of strangling vines erupt from the ground, crushing everything in their path. The view begins to shift rapidly as the rad suited camera man begins running... and the image goes to static.

"And that, Gentlemen and dignitaries, is giant killer. The flare gun itself is simply a delivery mechanism. The round contains several Giant killer seeds and a very compact dirty bomb. After the test you just saw, the project was abandoned and the remaining Giant killer materials were packed away."

[The Union of Tinis]

"I guess that rules out someone taking it through Prismwind then," said the projection of Secretary Waldo. "The radiation in even the outer hills would likely set something like that off. At least I would think so. But might be wise to have an over flight to look for giant plant growth there."